Are kids too young to understand therapy?
We saw kids four and up, many of them victims of abuse and neglect, long term. Other kids came as part of family therapy, and still other had various issues that concerned their parents or professionals.
Is it okay to end a therapy session early if you just feel you’ve had enough?
I talk about the unique boundaries of therapy and one that adds some protection and specialness is the time period — often 50 minutes. It’s nudging a boundary to change that, which is precisely why I favor doing it once in a while. Stretching a boundary here and there is special, and carries message and meaning.
What unrealistic expectations do clients bring to therapy that slow their progress?
1. If you find a great therapist, they’ll fix you.
│Fact is, most of the hard work is done by the client, and even an average therapist will do...
Why do psychologists recommend that you do things for others?
Because they understand human nature. Because they know all our pains and hurts and ills make us focus on ourselves, and that when we pay all that attention to our own problems, the problems grow bigger and we grow more self-absorbed, and my world is about the arthritis pain in my right knee (it actually was hurting for a few minutes this morning until I got off my butt and took a very active kid to the park).
How does my therapist read me so well despite only a few years of experience? Is this a learned skill?
Training and experience certainly count, but if you are fortunate enough to have a therapist with particular talents that suit you and your issues? A great gift.
Is diagnosis important in psychotherapy?
We don’t always need accurate diagnoses to provide excellent psychotherapy.
Diagnosis is more important when prescribing drugs. It’s also a highly inadequate shorthand to classify humans. We notice things groups of clients seem to have in common, and then create diagnoses, the majority quite subjective and soft compared to standard medical diagnoses.
When should a therapist show anger in a session?
Here are a couple of times I have openly shown anger in a session. Keep in mind that if a therapist lets anger show, it’s calibrated to the client, and never threatening or frightening.
What is resistance in psychotherapy and what does it look like to a therapist?
I deeply dislike how “resistance” has somehow become a bad thing. No, resistance is the client’s ability to slow down certain interpretations, certain kinds of probing or premature conclusions by a therapist. That makes it a healthy defense that helps keep the process at the right pace.
What happens if a therapist challenges a client beyond what is mentally comfortable for them?
Psychotherapy is not a soothing mental massage session, even though an effective massage therapist may make you a bit uncomfortable at times, or a personal trainer, or your doctor.
How do you know when someone is really ready for therapy?
The therapist is the one who has to be ready. Calm, clear, open, attentive, and ready for the person who walked in the door. No assumptions, no judgments, just unconditional presence.