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As a therapist, do you follow a manual or adapt to the individual? Why?

Of course a talented, intuitive, highly creative master therapist is wonderful, but one of those may not be available.

PAINT-BY-NUMBERS ISN’T THE BEST, BUT IT CAN BE GOOD

You can get a “paint-by-numbers” set, and if you follow the instructions, you will produce a landscape with a hill, a cottage, a stream (there’s always a stream), and a friendly dog. It will be nice, and if you stand far enough back and squint your eyes, it will look like the original generic landscape painting it was modeled on.

You’re probably a kid, and you’ll give your painting to your grandma, and she’ll be thrilled and get a little frame for it and hang it in the guestroom. It’s a painting, and there’s love in it.

THERE’S SOME GOOD NEWS HERE

Paint-by-numbers psychotherapy can work. I had a crusty, ornery old advisor in graduate school, who said, “Any no-talent person who follows some simple rules can do psychotherapy. A lot of people just want someone to pay attention to them and show them some respect.”

Therapy can work in spite of the therapist, not because of the therapist. Including paint-by-numbers therapies. Truax and Carkhuff and other researchers in the 1960s proved you could teach people to be therapists (making mid-level empathic responses and a few other things involving body language) in a weekend. This is actually good news. Like the 12-Step Programs, “It works if you work it.”

A talented, versatile, creative therapist (partnering with a committed client) is the instrument; no numbers needed. You’ll probably move faster and go deeper with such a person. BUT: a therapist who has a good heart and common sense and only a couple of tools in the bag can do very well too in most cases.

There was a moment in psychology in the last century when we switched from blaming everything on the mother to the idea of the Good Enough Mother, and most mothers, like most therapists, are generally good enough.

Most people can find a Good Enough Therapist, even one who relies on handouts and worksheet and memorized slogans. It works if you work it.

  • David McPhee, PhD
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There are plenty more stories and insights on how therapy works in Get the Most From Your Therapy, a friendly, practical guide to the experience.

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