What’s your most memorable “ah-ha” moment with a client?
Sally seemed obsessed with her older sister Sue, who was critical, controlling, and occasionally cruel. They’d talk on the phone every Friday at 6 PM for about half an hour. Sally always felt bad for an hour or two afterward and had a cocktail and a TV show to settle down. Next morning she’d still be emotionally hung over.
I decided to risk a confrontation.
“Sally, every week you talk about your listening to Sue’s critical, controlling, complaining talk. Your chats upset you, ruin your serenity, and drive you to drink!” (Sally chuckled at that one).
“Sally, you’ve convinced me and apparently yourself these talks aren’t good for you, and probably not for Sue either. So, I’m confused at your decision here, your choice about this, your continuing to have these harmful talks.”
Sally looked at me, looked away, looked at me again, and said an un-Sally-like, “Shit! You mean I should just stop the Friday talks?”
I’ll never forget it and some others like it.
- David McPhee, PhD
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