Are therapists supposed to tell clients they deal with emotions wrong?
Well, yes and no, mostly no. The worksheet, paint-by-numbers versions of CBT and ACT do it, politely. They have some pretty clear ideas about how we should be managing our emotions. Look them up if you like and examine the diagrams. Nothing wrong with it, I guess, if there isn’t time to train people to do actual therapy, and no doubt these mostly cognitive approaches can do a lot of good.
The “no” would apply to most mainstream approaches ranging from the Rogerian person-centered to the psychodynamic/analytic to the Gestalt and on and on for generations. Those therapists aren’t about “correcting” you.
It’s a deep, unique relationship that allows full expression, exploration, and resolution of any and all emotions and a lot more. It’s about an approach tailored specifically to you, the whole you, not some convenient label or diagnosis.
I admit you might catch me in therapy with a well-established client with a lot of trust established, maybe talking like this:
CLIENT: I feel like when I go on retreats, I’m just running away from my problems, and I feel selfish for abandoning my daughter.
ME: Yeah, but is it running away, or is it filling the tank so you can be an even better mom and model self-care…?
CLIENT: Well, yeah, when you put it like that, I guess it is, but I still feel guilty.
ME: I know, I know. Wanna look at that guilt thing, or…
In effect, I reframed the behavior — offered an additional way of looking at it, but not “correcting” her for feeling selfish. Instead, I wanted to create a possible opening for her to begin to explore that. I hope that at some point she may be able to apply the “correction,” or better yet, accept and integrate the feeling.