Can you interview a therapist before you pick them?
If you ask good, relevant questions, you’ll learn plenty and probably get a good feel for how it would be to work with this person.
What’s your most memorable “ah-ha” moment with a client?
Sally seemed obsessed with her older sister Sue, who was critical, controlling, and occasionally cruel. They’d talk on the phone every Friday at 6 PM for about half an hour. Sally always felt bad for an hour or two afterward and had a cocktail and a TV show to settle down. Next morning she’d still be emotionally hung over.
Are Clients Responsible for Boundaries in Therapy?
If it’s not illegal or dangerous or disruptive to others, you can say or ask absolutely anything that pops into your head. I hope you do.
Can therapists give clients gifts and still stay ethical?
I gave gifts to clients. Once. Not unethical, but also not very bright of me. One year, long ago, I saw a picture of a paper white narcissus and thought it was beautiful. I’m no botanist and don’t know much about flowers, but I really liked that one.
What is your opinion of a therapist who tells you what to do?
If you’re having a panic attack in front of me, I know what to do to help stop the agony, but you’ll need to follow my instructions and let me help, which is up to you. I will always ask your permission before jumping in.
Is it okay to end a therapy session early if you just feel you’ve had enough?
I talk about the unique boundaries of therapy and one that adds some protection and specialness is the time period — often 50 minutes. It’s nudging a boundary to change that, which is precisely why I favor doing it once in a while. Stretching a boundary here and there is special, and carries message and meaning.