What’s your most memorable “ah-ha” moment with a client?

Sally seemed obsessed with her older sister Sue, who was critical, controlling, and occasionally cruel. They’d talk on the phone every Friday at 6 PM for about half an hour. Sally always felt bad for an hour or two afterward and had a cocktail and a TV show to settle down. Next morning she’d still be emotionally hung over.

Many of our sessions started with Sally reporting what Sue had said this time. It all sounded the same to me. It had been going on for years this way.

I decided to risk a confrontation.

“Sally, every week you talk about your listening to Sue’s critical, controlling, complaining talk. Your chats upset you, ruin your serenity, and drive you to drink!” (Sally chuckled at that one).

“Sally, you’ve convinced me and apparently yourself these talks aren’t good for you, and probably not for Sue either. So, I’m confused at your decision here, your choice about this, your continuing to have these harmful talks.”

Sally looked at me, looked away, looked at me again, and said an un-Sally-like, “Shit! You mean I should just stop the Friday talks?”

I didn’t answer; I just looked over my glasses at her with a wide-eyed grin. She said, “Shit, shit, shit!” I loved it. The delightful moment of ah-ha!
Sally: “What will I say to her? How will I tell her?”
I replied, “So you’ve decided what to do, and you just want to work on technique?”
Sally: “Yeah, I guess so, I guess I do!”

I’ll never forget it and some others like it.

©2026 David McPhee, PhD. All rights reserved.