Is therapy supposed to be this incredibly important relationship that shapes the rest of your life, or is it actually not that deep?
Both, or either one. It can be an incredibly important relationship if you have a lot to reframe and repair, or not as deep when you just need help stopping smoking or deciding whether to retire now, etc.
How can a therapist help a client safely externalize pent-up anger?
BLOG How can a therapist help a client safely externalize pent-up anger? I think that might be the wrong question....
How do therapists help depressed clients who struggle to engage because everything is bad and nothing is ever enough?
The client showed up for therapy. That is huge. They keep coming. That is more huge. I’d say the client has engaged, plenty.
Still, they keep saying everything is bad and nothing will ever be enough?
OK. Then that’s where we start, supporting the client as they find ways of expressing it fully and in different ways, all the feelings and the thoughts.
How is attachment to my therapist a sign of healing when it hurts more than my original pain?
BLOG How is attachment to my therapist a sign of healing when it hurts more than my original pain? Ah,...
Do people cry in front of their therapists?
They often do, and they should, and it’s a good thing... There’s just about no better place in the world than a therapy office, where you don’t have to hold back tears or any expressions of feelings, because you have this special, highly private relationship with another human who is fully there for you, and you see only for that 50 minutes, once a week or so.
Can therapists give clients gifts and still stay ethical?
I gave gifts to clients. Once. Not unethical, but also not very bright of me. One year, long ago, I saw a picture of a paper white narcissus and thought it was beautiful. I’m no botanist and don’t know much about flowers, but I really liked that one.
What is your opinion of a therapist who tells you what to do?
If you’re having a panic attack in front of me, I know what to do to help stop the agony, but you’ll need to follow my instructions and let me help, which is up to you. I will always ask your permission before jumping in.
Are young kids too young for therapy if they don’t really understand mental health?
We saw kids four and up, many of them victims of abuse and neglect, long term. Other kids came as part of family therapy, and still other had various issues that concerned their parents or professionals.
Is it okay to end a therapy session early if you just feel you’ve had enough?
I talk about the unique boundaries of therapy and one that adds some protection and specialness is the time period — often 50 minutes. It’s nudging a boundary to change that, which is precisely why I favor doing it once in a while. Stretching a boundary here and there is special, and carries message and meaning.
What unrealistic expectations do clients bring to therapy that slow their progress?
BLOG What unrealistic expectations do clients bring to therapy that slow their progress? 1. If you find a great therapist,...