At what point does a client need to detach from their therapist?
Attachment is usually a positive thing, and even some temporary feelings of dependency can be OK if they’re addressed in the therapy and don’t lead to any dysfunction.
What do therapists do with a client who is always the victim?
Brad was a victim. I know because he told me so, often, and with great and passionate sorrow.
Are therapists allowed to call the police?
One day, after what I thought was a really good session—glad I had videotaped it—Oscar announced as he was leaving, “I’m going on a run now.” (Meaning he was about to run away). What the hell? I was clueless. I tried to talk him out of it, adding that I’d have to call the police. He said, not in a smartass way, “That’s OK, most of them know me,” and left. Actually running.
What do you do with your emotions when someone says “sit with it”?
You need more specifics. Here are some of the sensations to notice. Just notice at first; no need to have some fancy interpretation just yet, or even name what the feeling is.
How well does CBT work in therapy?
I never did CBT like a class, as if the client were a student, with the lessons and the worksheets, following a manual. That’s psychoeducation, possibly helpful and interesting, but absolutely not psychotherapy. But if you’ve got a good working relationship with a client, based on trust and commitment, CBT-type interventions can be great.
Are therapists supposed to tell clients they deal with emotions wrong?
Therapy is a deep, unique relationship that allows full expression, exploration, and resolution of any and all emotions and a lot more. It’s about an approach tailored specifically to you, the whole you, not some convenient label or diagnosis.
How many appointments does it take to know if a therapist is a good fit?
Unlike dating, therapy is a relationship for a carefully managed, well-boundaried single hour every week or so, with a person who’s trained and who has experience in doing what they’re doing, probably for thousands of hours, without getting into too much trouble.
Is therapy supposed to be this incredibly important relationship that shapes the rest of your life, or is it actually not that deep?
Both, or either one. It can be an incredibly important relationship if you have a lot to reframe and repair, or not as deep when you just need help stopping smoking or deciding whether to retire now, etc.
How can a therapist help a client safely externalize pent-up anger?
I think that might be the wrong question. “Letting it all out” doesn’t work and can be dangerous.
How do therapists help depressed clients who struggle to engage because everything is bad and nothing is ever enough?
The client showed up for therapy. That is huge. They keep coming. That is more huge. I’d say the client has engaged, plenty.
Still, they keep saying everything is bad and nothing will ever be enough?
OK. Then that’s where we start, supporting the client as they find ways of expressing it fully and in different ways, all the feelings and the thoughts.