Why do psychologists recommend that you do things for others?
Because they understand human nature. Because they know all our pains and hurts and ills make us focus on ourselves, and that when we pay all that attention to our own problems, the problems grow bigger and we grow more self-absorbed, and my world is about the arthritis pain in my right knee (it actually was hurting for a few minutes this morning until I got off my butt and took a very active kid to the park).
How does my therapist read me so well despite only a few years of experience? Is this a learned skill?
Training and experience certainly count, but if you are fortunate enough to have a therapist with particular talents that suit you and your issues? A great gift.
Is diagnosis important in psychotherapy?
We don’t always need accurate diagnoses to provide excellent psychotherapy.
Diagnosis is more important when prescribing drugs. It’s also a highly inadequate shorthand to classify humans. We notice things groups of clients seem to have in common, and then create diagnoses, the majority quite subjective and soft compared to standard medical diagnoses.
When should a therapist show anger in a session?
Here are a couple of times I have openly shown anger in a session. Keep in mind that if a therapist lets anger show, it’s calibrated to the client, and never threatening or frightening.
What happens if a therapist challenges a client beyond what is mentally comfortable for them?
Psychotherapy is not a soothing mental massage session, even though an effective massage therapist may make you a bit uncomfortable at times, or a personal trainer, or your doctor.
How do you know when someone is really ready for therapy? Or do you just assume they’re ready because they walked in the door?
The therapist is the one who has to be ready. Calm, clear, open, attentive, and ready for the person who walked in the door. No assumptions, no judgments, just unconditional presence.