What are some unrealistic expectations clients sometimes have that make progress in therapy more difficult to achieve?
1. If you find a great therapist, they’ll fix you.
❌ Fact is, most of the hard work is done by the client, and even an average therapist will do.
2. Therapists have the answers, but won’t tell you because they want you to figure it out for yourself.
❌ Partially true, but most clients already know the answers themselves — they’re just not ready to act on them.
3. Therapists are fragile and you have to be polite with them and not say bad words or share really dark thoughts or show anger at them.
❌ Not even a little bit true, assuming you’ve got a competent and effective therapist.
4. There’s some reason, some event in your past that’s causing all the problems, and when you figure out what it is, everything will change.
❌ Only in the movies.
5. The real problem isn’t you, it’s your ex, or your narc, or your parents or your boss or your sergeant, and if you can put all the blame on them you will get better.
❌ It can be helpful to resolve your bad feelings about others, but only to clear a path to take charge of your own recovery.