David McPhee's Blog
What are some unrealistic expectations clients sometimes have that make progress in therapy more difficult to achieve?
BLOG What are some unrealistic expectations clients sometimes have that make progress in therapy more difficult to achieve? 1. If you find a great therapist, they’ll fix you. ❌ Fact is, most of the hard work is done by the client, and even an average therapist will do. 2....Continue reading→
Why do psychologists, gurus, psychiatrists, etc., always recommend that you do things for others?
Because they understand human nature. Because they know all our pains and hurts and ills make us focus on ourselves, and that when we pay all that attention to our own problems, the problems grow bigger and we grow more self-absorbed, and my world is about the arthritis pain in my right knee (it actually was hurting for a few minutes this morning until I got off my butt and took a very active kid to the park). Continue reading→
How does my therapist read my mind? He understands me like no one else does. He only has a few years experience in the field. Is this a skill therapists learn?
BLOG How does my therapist read my mind? He understands me like no one else does. He only has a few years experience in the field. Is this a skill therapists learn? People rarely talk about talent with therapists. They talk about training and experience, which of course are indispensable,...Continue reading→
Is diagnosis important in psychotherapy?
We don’t always need accurate diagnoses to provide excellent psychotherapy. Diagnosis is more important when prescribing drugs. It’s also a highly inadequate shorthand to classify humans. We notice things groups of clients seem to have in common, and then create diagnoses, the majority quite subjective and soft compared to standard medical diagnoses.Continue reading→
When should a therapist show anger in a session?
BLOG When should a therapist show anger in a session? Here are a couple of times I have openly shown anger in a session. Keep in mind that if a therapist lets anger show, it’s calibrated to the client, and never threatening or frightening.1. Timmy was 11. He’d been sexually...Continue reading→
What is resistance in psychotherapy and what does it look like to a therapist?
I deeply dislike how “resistance” has somehow become a bad thing. No, resistance is the client’s ability to slow down certain interpretations, certain kinds of probing or premature conclusions by a therapist. That makes it a healthy defense that helps keep the process at the right pace.Continue reading→
What happens if a therapist challenges a client beyond what is mentally comfortable for them?
BLOG What happens if a therapist challenges a client beyond what is mentally comfortable for them? Therapy happens. Psychotherapy is not a soothing mental massage session, even though an effective massage therapist may make you a bit uncomfortable at times, or a personal trainer, or your doctor. A good therapist...Continue reading→
How do you know when someone is really ready for therapy? Or do you just assume they’re ready because they walked in the door?
The therapist is the one who has to be ready. Calm, clear, open, attentive, and ready for the person who walked in the door. No assumptions, no judgments, just unconditional presence. Continue reading→