How can you tell if a therapist is not good at therapy?
Reading Quora questions and answers—stories of therapist misbehavior, misconduct, and mediocrity—has been sobering and saddening, and sometimes just makes me mad. Here’s a short list of problems that come up often.
THERAPISTS WHO ARE NOT GOOD AT THERAPY
1. They have a standard plan or program that they shoehorn all their clients into, with minor variations. They are unable or unwilling to see each new client as a unique, precious individual. They are therapist-centered, self-centered, not client-centered. The worst of them treat therapy like lessons or classes with worksheets and homework and no deep connection, no sense of wonder, no love.
2. They are rigid and legalistic about what they imagine to be “The Rules.” How often have I heard this: “My therapist said I have to have goals and be making progress,” or worse, “My therapist terminated me for transference.”
3. They act as if their job is to come up with an accurate diagnosis, figure out a plan, and apply it to the client. Diagnosis can be helpful sometimes, but therapists who are into control insist on having one every time. They also think they can decide how often clients can meet with them, or unilaterally “reduce their hours.”
4. They isolate, don’t attend workshops or meetings, or associate with other therapists, do their required continuing education online, and reject the support, participation, and education they could get from their colleagues.
This is getting depressing. I have the sweet privilege in my old age of providing one-on-one supervision/consultation for therapists who want to get even better. They are open, and eager. Creative, full of love and compassion. It’s a joyful job. OK, I feel better. To stay consistent, though, I should say that therapists who are not good at therapy never get supervision, formal or informal.
There are plenty more stories and insights on how therapy works in Get the Most From Your Therapy, a friendly, practical guide to the experience.
