Is family therapy pointless if one member won’t speak?
No. Family therapy mirrors real life. In real life, in just about any workgroup, somebody’s not showing up and just sitting it out. That doesn’t stop things. I can actually potentiate them. Group theory is clear on this: one passive-aggressive person becomes the focus, and the group improves its game to try to pull the person in. Even if it fails, the interactive dynamic has improved.
Then there’s this. Showing up and sitting there mute is participation. It’s actually making a big statement and impacts the whole dynamic. Showing up is participation, even if the person is silent, and if it’s family therapy, the silence and how the group handles it, tells a ton about what’s going on in the family. We put too much emphasis on words spoken, but people are way more likely to lie with their speech than they do with their bodies—nonverbal communication is quite powerful.
There are plenty more stories and insights on how therapy works in Get the Most From Your Therapy, a friendly, practical guide to the experience.
