Can therapists give clients gifts and still stay ethical?
I gave gifts to clients. Once. Not unethical, but also not very bright of me.
One year, long ago, I saw a picture of a paper white narcissus and thought it was beautiful. I’m no botanist and don’t know much about flowers, but I really liked that one. A few days later I was at Home Depot, where they have a garden section, and looked around. It was late December. By coincidence they were selling narcissus bulbs, cheap. I was inspired.
I had about 40 active, regular clients at that time, weekly or every other week. I bought 50 bulbs, just in case. My idea was to give one to each client, in a little box, with a generic but inspiring message about growth and beauty or something, without a specific reference to Christmas or anything religious.
I included instructions: take a bowl, put a few pebbles in there, and some water, and the bulb, and wait for it to turn into a miracle of beauty. I gave everybody a little box with the bulb and message. I gave myself one, too, and followed the instructions. The result, as expected, was a lovely solo white narcissus, on the window sill.
To my horror, there was also a totally unexpected horrible toxic stench.
I looked it up. One florist wrote “Paperwhite narcissus are the cilantro of the flower world. While some people can’t get enough of their heady fragrance, to others they smell like a cross between dirty socks and cat pee.” A totally inadequate description. It’s far worse than either of those.
Further research revealed that the majority of humans flee from narcissus’ noxious stink. I tossed my reeking narcissus, and prepared myself for reactions from my partially poisoned patients.
Responses were all over the map, and every single person was kind, far kinder than I deserved. It was the last and only time I ever gave gifts to clients.