How do you learn to love yourself when you grew up in a dysfunctional family?
Love is not a passing feeling or emotion, like loving a movie or a dessert. It’s a behavior. We don’t have a lot of control over our feelings. We can control our behavior based on choices and promises.
Knowing the choices to make and promises to keep is the easy part. Pick people you know personally or from movies or books. People who love and respect themselves.
You know they do if they act like it. Watch them. Observe. Pick the behaviors that, to you, represent what you would do if you loved and respected yourself. Get help from a therapist or a friend if you can.
Try out some of those behaviors. Maybe not putting yourself first, but putting yourself in the right place, a place of love and respect.
You might say, “That’s too hard, I can’t do it.” You’d be wrong. It is hard, yes, but also simple, and you can do it, especially with support—therapist or friend. Or both.