What do you do with your emotions when someone says “sit with it”?
Yeah. What the hell is the “it” you’re supposed to be sitting with? I guess some feeling or other?
You need more specifics. Here are some of the sensations to notice. Just notice at first; no need to have some fancy interpretation just yet, or even name what the feeling is.
- Hand temperature, especially the palms. Mine get cooler when I’m anxious, because my brilliant sympathetic nervous system is diverting extra blood to things that will help me fight or flee. This and all the rest of the items have to do with feelings
- Oral salivation. Are you producing more spit, or is your mouth drier than usual?
- Your breath. More down in your belly, or up higher, and it’s speed or slowness, and whether your shoulders rise or not.
- Perspiration. Not talking about sweating like a something, look for that subtle, slight dampness, palms again, and other places.
- Tummy tightness. How does it feel down there in your abdomen? Tight or loose or “other.”
- Jaw tight or loose. This is a big one for some people.
These are just for starters. You do an inventory of the body, from your toes to the top of your head, and notice it all, without judgment. At first it might be hard, a struggle to attend to your various parts that way, but it will become easy with a little practice. You can even play with it. Pretend you’ve just been scared by a loud noise, and do the scan, and see what you notice. Pretend you are deeply relaxed or maybe asleep, and scan, and see what’s there.
If you were my client, and you were up for it, I’d talk you through a 10-minute exercise like this, while paying close attention to what I see, and adjusting accordingly. If your therapist doesn’t do that, you can figure out your own way. If not, there are tons of YouTube lessons on “getting in touch with feelings,” and you can try different ones until you find one you really like.